The Emancipation of Pokey

I DONT hate u.
I'm not happy for u.
I'm sad, i'm mad.
At u.

One word, save.
A thousand tears i shed.
I din wanna, u knw i hate to cry.
I hate to cry, it makes me weak.

So much for friendship.
So much for happily ever afters,
Those promises of forever.
So much for pokey and kiki.

They loved each other,
They were idiots.
We all know who was the bigger one.
But we're too confused to say.

I'm not crying.
Believe you me.
I'm not... u knw i hate that.
It makes me weak.

Its not goodbye.
Not forever.
Not till u look me in the eye,
And tell me its over.

When u do, i swear,
I'll be alright.
At least i'll know.
The truth. That u'll be alright!

I HATE HIM!!
im gonna go kill myself now..

My life is one big music box, yes it is.
My family has a musicall background and so i grew up listening to the BEST music and learning to enjoy it.
But every generation hates the songs which are not a pat of their ERA!!
Its sorta unfair...
This blog has been totally useless uptil now, I'm not in my writing "mood".
Part 1 begins with a very very important lil person. He is the devil incarnate, well not actuallly coz he is shit scared of me, but he really can torment any1. He is the most annoyingest creature in the whole world. He wil talk when u are busy reading or messaging, he will threaten to kill you and most of all he will smile that cute smile after all that and really kill you.
He is APU, my lil bro,my lil portable pack of nuisance.
This is the sorta music he brings into my life,
When Apu was a year old he cud sing "Mustafa,Mustafa" only it was pronounced "Muthachcha,Muthachcha" whihc means grandfather in malayalam.
He also learned to sing "MM Bop"  "waiting for tonight" and "i love rock and roll".
He dinno what any of the words meant.
As he grew up he was so musically inclined, the only way to shut him up was to put music, and then he'd jus sit, transfixed,only his BIG head moving to the beat.
Now, its amazing.
A few months back during the festival season that Autokaarans next to the house were playing the legendary song "Naa Autokaaran" by namma THALA himself.
Apu and I were so bored that we went to the front of the house and we just started dancing like lunatics. It was so funny, we also did that everytime a death passed and they were playing that "dandanaka dandanaka" music.
We made our own videos for "Loosu penne" "Yammadi, Aathadi" "Vallumeenu".
So so funny.
I love this lil boy for giving me the best times of my life. I wish he wouldnt grow up.
really really!

paavana welcome new frend siva!
HEWWO!

Paavana was a happy child girl. She was still reveling in the joy of having completed the "BOARD" exams *gasp...shudder* successfully, well at least two of them. 

And then she got hurt, upset and a number of other unhappy feelings. Then she looked down, at her quilt. It had a rip in it.

A long gash that revealed a soft, fluffy innard. She was worried thats the insides might come outside(s) and decided to do something about it. She hollered to her mother for a "ool-noosi" (you'll have to remember that at this point of time she was mentally down and out). After being supplied the rightful "nool-oosi" and being questioned on the reason for the increasing length of her face she craft fully(?) started to stitch the tear . As the "nool" went in and out so did her thoughts and finally when the tear was no longer torn, Paavana got bored of her unhappy thoughts, she admired her handiwork and she set off in search of her well-deserved happy foods.

She was/is a happy child girl again!

Do u know how it feels to have slept only at 1:44 AM after a session of brain-storming,
Wake up at 6:30 AM, rather, jolt out of bed remembering that you forgot to feed the dog,
And then when you do get to him, he just wags his tail lazily, smiles lazily and says i love you with his lazy eyes,
Its sad, real sad. Sad. Sad. Sad.

On a happier note,
I also got my period as soon as i woke up.
Not so happy. GOTCHA!

I haven't brushed my teeth and I'm hungry and my tummy hurts due to the sudden attempt at making it Shakira-like in one night.

boo hoo.

his smile.
his eyes.
they both make me feel the same way.
warm, happy and fuzzy.
i melt.
and then he moulds me again.
making me the way i am.
taking me the way i am.

he makes me smile that constant smile.
it never leaves me face.

for u,
paavana

Have you ever slept past the breakeven point?
Oh! You dont know what that means?
Let me tell you what happens when you sleep beyond the breakeven point

1. Your dreams start consisting of characters and a storyline which bears a vague similarity to the random sunday afternoon flick you watched.
2. You are very aware of the chaos that is happening in your living room involving THE MOM and THE DUMBY.
3. Your plans for the day ahead take shape in the form of a monstrous dream sequence where everything goes wrong, you end up alone at home, alone in a corner, alone.

BEWARE! of this and take heed.

ps: for those of  you who sat through this, YOU DESERVE THE TORTURE U JUS ENDURED!!!

 

I'm in a good mood. And thats a lot these days, especially since is screwed my math exam BIG time. My baby cuzin is coming back from the Philipines, ya my aunt is a Philipino, my uncle ran away and got married secretly, haha, anyway the result was an angel of a baby and i spent only two months with her in the beginning. Her 1st birthday is on the 23rd so she is finally coming back to India and I'm beyond excited... and for good measure I'm gonna leave a pic behind and you guys tell me if U've every seen anything  more angelic in ur life.

Depression combined with the recession of self into a dark corner of the noiseless house.
Anger combined with the confusion at my mother's insensitivity.
Mental agony combined with the pain that lurks in my head and makes my brain throb louder than my empty heart.
Suffering combined with the guilt of not giving love when I so badly wanted to.
Strain combined with the remorse of not using the warmth that i needed.
It hurts.
And then I die.